He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
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just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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