Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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