Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So squirting runs in the family.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
