dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
