that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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