you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You're a waste of cheezeits
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
