I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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