saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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