Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
