this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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