She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ðŸ˜ðŸ’€#pensacolaproblems
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
