what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize