well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
