i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
