just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That was an excessively violent trivia night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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