I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am midnight drunk by noon
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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