i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
