Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
