Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize