She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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