How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
