ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize