i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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