That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize