He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize