so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
