i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
