"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
