can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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