Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The feeling are messing with the penis
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
