And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
