bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
