My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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