took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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