I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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