You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
