Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
