i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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