So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
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So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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