Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
