Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
