What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
