It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
