Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
