Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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