Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
