You made me cry and you don't even care
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
