I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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