Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
