I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
