Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
...so i touched it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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