is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
