tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
