I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
