oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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