My room smells like vodka and shame
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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