For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
